Oh marvellous error!

So much this year has been about learning to let go of what no longer serves, not with harshness or any sense of lack or deprivation, but as a gardener, with love and patience and the long view, turning it all to compost, turning it back into the mix in ways that are generative and nurture new growth.  This one is for all of you who are feeling into the broken places. And especially to all my Waking Down friends.

Last night, as I was sleeping,
I dreamt--marvellous error!--
that a spring was breaking
out in my heart.
I said: Along which secret aqueduct,
Oh water, are you coming to me,
water of a new life
that I have never drunk? 

Last night, as I was sleeping,
I dreamt--marvellous error!--
that I had a beehive
here inside my heart.
And the golden bees
were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures. 

Last night, as I was sleeping,
I dreamt--marvellous error!--
that a fiery sun was giving
light inside my heart.
It was fiery because I felt
warmth as from a hearth,
and sun because it gave light
and brought tears to my eyes. 

Last night, as I slept,
I dreamt--marvellous error!--
that it was God I had
here inside my heart.  

Antonio Machado
Times Alone 

 

May 31, 2011 Eclipsed

Before the fireball Genesis 1:2

King James Version: And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was uopn the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

Midrashic translation by Neil Douglas-Klotz

The storyteller continues:

Now particles--the Power of Limits--

didn't really exist yet n our reality

and were still only "things" in principle.

They were like the germ of a solution

within the shell of a surrounding problem,

the inkling of an answer

to the question of "What next?"

a kernel of purpose embedded in

a dream of the Universe's heart.

This "earthiness" of all the elements was still

unformed and waiting.

Meanwhile...

on the surface of the Primordial (yet unawakened) Womb,

that billowing edge of the abyss of existence

where phenomena, time and space had yet to appear,

a struggle raged:

A spark of cosmic desire wanted to

return to the Source immediately,

leaving behind the realm of constriction and contraction.

This self-involved fire forgot its purpose.

It set off the first violence of a being

that wants to be somewhere its not.

Its barren wanting strangled its own voice until

The breath of Universe Being touched

the face of Beloved Possibility.

Pure expansive power stirred the primordial soup.

The Being of Beings

inspired, animated and reminded Flow,

that same edge of possible phenomena,

of the expansive growth awaiting it.

One could say that Cosmic Breath

moved with pregnant possibility

into the deep and massive nether of Chaotic Dark--

awakening Womb for what?

An intimacy yet unknown.

Opening to the Spring within

Acer macrophyllum (Big Leaf maple) leaves unfurling from the bud.

Opening to the spring within

a newborn cry

pink flesh

curled and knotted like worms in the garden

writhing with the unbearable shame

of imperfection 

of failure

of self

something this soft and tender shouldn't have teeth

rock it, rock  it, rock it

hushaby baby

stripped bare

fine hairs raw and vigilant looking for

dragons

or 

sunshine

there's nothing here

but the fear of unfolding

 

the spring within

is moving, pushing, inexorable

the light is too bright

the dark even brighter

no more a haven of sleep or rest

the dark is shining through all the walls

until there is only the choice of transparency

gossamer

leaves

thinner than skin

wrinkled, sticky, clinging

pushed into the light

of spring

exposed

for hoursdaysmonths to

light and heat

unfurling 

a patchwork of broken traceries

that shines golden

like joy

like the heart of God

snow march 2006

snow march 2006, originally uploaded by the view from in here.

Looking east from the driveway. Morning sun through this year's snow...

Beautiful You Rise Upon the Horizon of Heaven

Beautiful you rise upon the horizon of heaven,
O living sun, you who have existed since the beginning of things...
The whole world is filled with your lovliness.
Your are the god Ra, and you have brought every land under your yoke,
Bound them in with the force of your love.
You are far away, yet your beams flood down upon the earth.
You shine upon the faces of men,
And no one is able to fathom the mystery of your coming.

Akhenaton, Egyptian, 14th century B.C.E.

Lost in the Forest

backyard sunset, originally uploaded by the view from in here.

Sunset in my backyard.

Lost
David Wagoner

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying
Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

The fire

the fire, originally uploaded by the view from in here.

Fire at an Open Space event in the Cowichan Valley on Vancouver Island.

Fire – Judy Brown

What makes a fire burn
is space between the logs,
a breathing space.

Too much of a good thing,
too many logs
packed in too tight
can douse the flames
almost as surely
as a pail of water would.

So building fires
requires attention
to the spaces in between,
as much as to the wood.

When we are able to build
open spaces
in the same way
we have learned
to pile on the logs,
then we can come to see how
it is fuel, and absence of the fuel
together, that make fire possible.

We only need to lay a log
lightly from time to time.
A fire
grows
simply because the space is there,
with openings
in which the flame
that knows just how it wants to burn
can find its way.

Fall approaches

maple turning 1, originally uploaded by the view from in here.

Big leaf maple - Acer macrophyllum beginning to turn. Fall is approaching.

For All

Ah to be alive
on a mid-September morn
fording a stream
barefoot, pants rolled up,
holding boots, pack on,
sunshine, ice in shallows,
northern rockies.

Rustle and shimmer of icy creek waters
stones turn underfoot, small and hard as toes
cold nose dripping
singing inside
creek music, heart music,
smell of sun on gravel.

I pledge allegiance

I pledge allegiance to the soil
of Turtle Island,
and to the beings who thereon dwell

one ecosystem
in diversity
under the sun
With joyful interpenetration for all.

~Gary Snyder

Foxglove seed heads

Foxglove seed heads...you can see the seeds inside! Digitalis purpurea

Help us to be the always
hopeful gardeners of the spirit
who knows that without
darkness nothing comes to
birth As without light
nothing flowers.

~May Sarton

Tall ships at Port Alberni

Rigging from the Russian Tall Ship Pallada.

A Community of the Spirit

There is a community of the spirit.
Join it, and feel the delight
of walking in the noisy street,
and being the noise.

Drink all your passion,
and be a disgrace.

Close both eyes
to see with the other eye.

Open your hands,
if you want to be held.

Sit down in this circle.

Quit acting like a wolf, and feel
the shepherd's love filling you.

At night, your beloved wanders.
Don't accept consolations.

Close your mouth against food.
Taste the lover's mouth in yours.

You moan, "She left me." "He left me."
Twenty more will come.

Be empty of worrying.
Think of who created thought!

Why do you stay in prison
when the door is so wide open?

Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking.
Live in silence.

Flow down and down in always
widening rings of being.

~ Rumi

Douglas Fir

Douglas fir - Pseudotsuga menziesii

This is the big one in the front yard.

Something we were withholding
Made us weak--
Until we learned
It was ourselves we were withholding
From this land of the living--
And thenceforth found salvation in surrender.
~Robert Frost

Fern with spores

Sword fern with spores.

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

~from Wild Geese, Mary Oliver

spider in web

spider in web, originally uploaded by the view from in here.

Spider in web, surrounded by salal, oregon grape, and blackberry. Gaultheria shallon, Mahonia nervosa, Rubus usinus and pollen cones of Pseudotsuga menziesii spp. menziesii.

The radical, committed to human liberation, does not become the prisoner of a circle of certainty within which reality is also imprisoned. On the contrary, the more radical the person is, the more fully he or she enters into reality so that, knowing it better, he or she can better transform it.

~Paulo Freire, Pedagogy of the Oppressed

ladybug on grass

ladybug on grass, originally uploaded by the view from in here.

A baby ladybug exploring Colonial Bentgrass panicle. Agrostis capillaris.

Miracles seem to rest, not so much upon faces or voices or healing power coming suddenly near to us from far off, but upon our perceptions being made finer so that for a moment our eyes can see and our ears can hear that which is about us always.

~Willa Cather

foxglove flower top

foxglove flower top, originally uploaded by the view from in here.

Foxglove - Digitalis purpurea

Some of my foxgloves have the most amazing cup-like top flower--some are almost 10cm across.

What is Life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the winter time. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the Sunset.

Crowfoot, on his deathbed, 1890

One that got away

rose, originally uploaded by the view from in here.

The deer around here like to eat my rose bush. This is one that got away. It's an old, heritage rose. I haven't been able to find it's name so far.

From Blossoms (excerpt)

O, to take what we love inside,
to carry within us an orchard, to eat
not only the skin, but the shade,
not only the sugar, but the days, to hold
the fruit in our hands, adore it, then bite into
the round jubilance of peach.

There are days we live
as if death were nowhere
in the background; from joy
to joy to joy, from wing to wing,
from blossom to blossom to
impossible blossom, to sweet impossible blossom.

Li-Young Lee

May 25, 2005

swamp willow, originally uploaded by the view from in here.

Swamp Willow/Sitka Willow - Salix sitchensis

The greatest challenge of the day is:
how to bring about a revolution of the heart,
a revolution which has to start
with each one of us.

~ Dorothy Day

May 23, 2005

nettle flower, originally uploaded by the view from in here.

Stinging Nettle flower - Urtica dioica

Here is calm so deep, grasses cease waving...
wonderful how completely everything in wild nature fits into us, as if truly part and parent of us. The sun shines not on us, but in us. The rivers flow not past, but through us, thrilling, tingling, vibrating every fibre and cell of the substance of our bodies, making them glide and sing.

~ John Muir

May 19, 2005

salmonberry, originally uploaded by the view from in here.

Ripening Salmonberry - Rubus spectabilis

The first entry of this blog was the flower...now here is the ripening fruit.

Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.

~ Albert Einstein

May 16, 2005

raindrops on grass, originally uploaded by the view from in here.

Raindrops on grass

For the staff of Nanaimo Family Life Association

If we can recognize that change and uncertainty are basic principles, we can greet the future and the transformation we are undergoing with the understanding that we do not know enough to be pessimistic. The life force within each of us can then focus on the possible and the potentialities.

~ Hazel Henderson

May 12, 2005

leafy rock, originally uploaded by the view from in here.

Lovely little leafy thing that makes a beautiful rosette--doesn't seem to be in the book...anybody know it?

If you are squeamish

Don't prod the
beach rubble

~ Sappho